‘You reap what you sow’: Married couple decides to each raise their bio kids separately as two different families, only to later complain about grandparents only giving gifts to their own grandkids

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    AITA for telling my brother not to blame our family or his wife's family for their regret?
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    My brother and his wife got married 6ish years ago. They were two single parents who wanted to be married to each other but the kids were not as into the idea as the adults. So
    via u/Much-Candy121
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    they decided to live as a married couple with two separate families. My brother's kids were parented by my brother and my brother only. His wife's kids were parented by his wife and his wife only. His
    via u/Much-Candy121
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    kids interacted with our family. Her kids interacted with hers. The kids interacted with their bio siblings only. They were not a blended family or even a family unit. It was very much two family units centered around a married couple. It was
    via u/Much-Candy121
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    weird to members on both sides of their families but it just was what it was. I always saw a time where they would regret it especially if they ever wanted to change how things worked and the kids
    via u/Much-Candy121
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    were against it or no love developed for step relatives we have no ongoing relationship with. But I also knew it wasn't my place to interfere. Well, the day has come and regret has already sunk in. So
    via u/Much-Candy121
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    my brother's oldest graduated high school a couple of weeks ago and my parents told them that they had saved for each grandkids future and they now had access to money to pay for college or to get them started if
    via u/Much-Candy121
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    they went for an apprenticeship. Of course my brother's oldest was excited. But my brother and his wife not so much because the money saved will be for each bio grandkid, not the wife's kids,
    via u/Much-Candy121
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    and they do not have the same help and support from their bio grandparents. My brother and his wife told my parents they can't give to some and not all. They said the stepkids are not a part of our
    via u/Much-Candy121
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    family and are not their grandkids and therefore they do not owe them any money. My brother attempted to talk to his kids about the money and they said they didn't care about his wife's kids or if they struggle
    via u/Much-Candy121
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    or not so they're not worried about them. My brother and his wife are now ped with both their families for the "very clear and very hurtful divide in their family" and I told my brother he has no
    via u/Much-Candy121
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    business blaming us for the regret he and his wife feel when they made the decisions they did and now have the outcome that was always inevitable. I told him the kids all seem happy so they should get over it. He was pd. AITA?
    via u/Much-Candy121
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    Rough_Homework6913 3 days ago Partassipant [1] Nta your brother really expects your parents to pay for children that they apparently haven't even spent any time with? That's wild. they aren't the one that's caused this great divide. Your brother and his wife are here.
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    Much-Candy121 OP 3 days ago He did, they both did, which is so wild to me.
    via u/Much-Candy121
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    Rough_Homework6913 3 days ago Partassipant [1] • They literally chose to raise the kids like this though. There are some people that I just can't understand this feels like just pure greediness to me.
    via u/Rough_Homework6913
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    Much-Candy121 OP 3 days ago I know and it was fully their decision to go the path they did. But we're all to blame for it apparently.
    via u/Much-Candy121
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    C_Majuscula 3 days ago Supreme Court Just- [147] NTA. Their plan was literally the path of least resistance (for them) and that generally has consequences. They either should not have gotten married or everyone should have been in counseling to at least get to a place where they lived together and could be civil.
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    Much-Candy121 OP. 3 days ago Her family suggested they could wait until the kids were out of the house to live together and get married if they didn't want to deal with any issues creating a blended family.
    via u/Much-Candy121
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    Adorable-Reaction887 3 days ago They wanted each other more than they wanted the kids to feel comfortable or blend enough to have even a basic civil relationship.
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    They don't like that the warnings from BOTH sides have become their reality and there isn't any way to salvage it (for the oldest at least)without admitting they was wrong or forcing the kids still at home to 'be a united family'.
    via u/Adorable-Reaction887
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    cassowary32.3 days ago Partassipant [4] So your parents weren't worth knowing until there was cash on offer? NTA.
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    • ABeerAndABook · 3 days ago Professor Emeritass [73] NTA. Brother and his partner played a stupid game, surprisingly won, and got the exact prize they wanted. And now they're about it.
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    Spare-Article-396 · 3 days ago Supreme Court Just- ΝΤΑ [145] Your parents don't owe the steps college money even if your bro and SIL parented differently. The fact that you say your parents saved for the money implies there's not
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    some unlimited well of cash that they can throw around to all of them. Now, add the way they didn't blend, it's a no-brainer.
    via u/Spare-Article-396

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